The title seems a little harsh, but it’s the truth. As I was driving around last night at like 2 in the morning crying over not being enough for someone I felt inclined to write this blog post because I know others are struggling. You will never be enough for everyone and you have to be okay with that, this is something that I’m still learning. I’ve found myself hopelessly trying to find a sense of worth and longing in people that aren’t fulfilling that. I’ve been chasing boys as if their validation is something that I can hang around my neck and wear like a medal. I’ve been trying to please every other person that I come in contact with and it is exhausting.
The worst part about feeling like you’re not enough is knowing that you never will be. It’s getting dressed up, putting on makeup, picking out the perfect outfit and just hoping they notice you. Hoping they notice that you’re wearing a stupid necklace or that you spent an absurd amount of time trying to make your hair look good. You pay attention to the little things they say and try to remember so you can bring it up in conversation later so you seem interested. And then they don’t notice, but who would right? Why are you putting so much of your effort into this one person hoping and praying that you can be fulfilled by them noticing them you? This isn’t how its supposed to be. Put on the outfit because YOU love it, spend time on your hair so YOU feel good, listen to conversations with the simple intent of wanting to know who they are. We are all too caught up in the idea that other people can make us happy, that other people can make us feel loved, and that other people can fulfill our needs. And don’t get me wrong people can do those things but they can’t fill your cup.
I’ve been finding myself trying to fit into these molds because I feel as though I’m not enough. Not pretty enough, not skinny enough, not smart enough, simply not enough. All concerns that I’m pretty sure every person has but the question is, not enough for who? If you say for someone else, that’s the problem. YOU DO YOU. You will meet so many people and no, you won’t be enough for all of them. But when you find those friends who look at you and constantly make you feel like you are enough, the others simply don’t matter. And when you find that boy or girl that makes you feel like you are enough and reminds you every single day, then everyone else’s opinions of you will fall to the wayside. But until then, learn how to be enough for yourself. Learn how to look in the mirror and be happy with who you are. Learn how to listen to yourself and love yourself like you want to be loved. Live shamelessly without fear of what others might say because life is too short to spend so much time trying to please others. You are worthy of the space you take up and you are enough to so many people. Don’t fight for validation from someone who doesn’t give it to you happily and often.
You are LOVED. You are NEEDED. You are ENOUGH. (ironic)
Self Care with Claire 